A few experiences in life have led to this realization, but a recent interaction prompted me to write this down.
while visiting my parents, I told them that I wanted to have 10 children. Without asking for any details or thoughts, my parentsmy replied that you shouldn't have kids because there are too many people in the world and having 10 kids would be more like donating sperm.
The shocker was not necessarily their views or even their assumptions of my thought process and intentions. The biggest shocker was that they were seeking to control and not to understand. There were zero inquisitions around why and how and what. Instead they simply brushed it off and tried to influence and control me.
A little while later, after processing the revelation a bit longer, I realized that this is what my younger brother must have felt like when he accused me of doing the same. He kept saying how surprised he was at my dogmatic authoritativeness toward him or others in most conversations. Sometimes you have to experience something from the other side to understand it.
The world might be a better place if we all sought to understand instead of control.